Redeeming the Tutu

What's with the tutu? I get asked this quite often. I've never really had a clear answer until one night while in bed waiting to drift off to sleep. I heard in my spirit, Jesus whisper, "I'm redeeming the tutu." At first, I didn't really know what that meant but very quickly a memory that was less than enjoyable came to mind.

When I was in late elementary or middle school, I attended ballet at our local dance studio. It was the year of our dance recital and our dance costumes were being sewn for us rather than ordered out of a catalog per usual. Measurements were taken and deposits were made. We waited. Since they weren't being mass produced this took longer than most of the other classes' costumes. Thus there was not time for fittings prior to our picture day pre-dance recital. They arrived on picture day. I waited my turn to change into the pink fanciness with a lacy skirt attached.   I went in to the restroom. I began to pull on the new dance apparrell, much to my horror, it barely fit in the torso, and was so tight it didn't hide much of my nonballerina figure.  Shame. Embarrassment. Tears stung my eyes knowing I would have to emerge in this frilly monstrousity and face the rest of the members of the class and studio who appeared in my perception to have no difficulty with the fit of their new recital outfit. 

This is not the particular costume, I believe those pictures were not purchased.

I've never realized how this was one of those defining memories that may have very shaped a majority of my inner self - dialogue and confidence or lack there of of what I see in the mirror. Other than some mean girl drama this is one memory I can recall my painful emotions and feelings of self-doubt and insecurity.
I loved dancing, but this probably sealed the departure of my dreams of ever becoming a ballerina or a dancer.

This is why I find great joy in my current habit of wearing a tutu. You see for me now the tutu no longer carries with it negative feelings and thoughts that were planted by the Evil one in hopes that I would doubt the love and creativity of my Creator, that I would believe the lie that I was not fearfully and wonderfully made. The treasure of His creation, worth more than any sparrow.

The tutu has been redeemed. When I look down in the middle of a workout at CrossFit or in the middle of a run, it no longer brings those negative thoughts.  It instead carries a deep sense of joy, confidence, victory, freedom from lies and a true appreciation of what this body I have been given can do.

All things can be made new. Nothing is out of the grasp of His power to redeem. Big or little.
He has made me new. Christ in me, glorified in my weakness. Only He is the one who can redeem the tutu moment of darkness.  He brings beauty out of ashes. The joy of the Lord is my strength.

The tutu has been redefined, redeemed, restored....  and so have I.