Redeeming the Tutu

What's with the tutu? I get asked this quite often. I've never really had a clear answer until one night while in bed waiting to drift off to sleep. I heard in my spirit, Jesus whisper, "I'm redeeming the tutu." At first, I didn't really know what that meant but very quickly a memory that was less than enjoyable came to mind.

When I was in late elementary or middle school, I attended ballet at our local dance studio. It was the year of our dance recital and our dance costumes were being sewn for us rather than ordered out of a catalog per usual. Measurements were taken and deposits were made. We waited. Since they weren't being mass produced this took longer than most of the other classes' costumes. Thus there was not time for fittings prior to our picture day pre-dance recital. They arrived on picture day. I waited my turn to change into the pink fanciness with a lacy skirt attached.   I went in to the restroom. I began to pull on the new dance apparrell, much to my horror, it barely fit in the torso, and was so tight it didn't hide much of my nonballerina figure.  Shame. Embarrassment. Tears stung my eyes knowing I would have to emerge in this frilly monstrousity and face the rest of the members of the class and studio who appeared in my perception to have no difficulty with the fit of their new recital outfit. 

This is not the particular costume, I believe those pictures were not purchased.

I've never realized how this was one of those defining memories that may have very shaped a majority of my inner self - dialogue and confidence or lack there of of what I see in the mirror. Other than some mean girl drama this is one memory I can recall my painful emotions and feelings of self-doubt and insecurity.
I loved dancing, but this probably sealed the departure of my dreams of ever becoming a ballerina or a dancer.

This is why I find great joy in my current habit of wearing a tutu. You see for me now the tutu no longer carries with it negative feelings and thoughts that were planted by the Evil one in hopes that I would doubt the love and creativity of my Creator, that I would believe the lie that I was not fearfully and wonderfully made. The treasure of His creation, worth more than any sparrow.

The tutu has been redeemed. When I look down in the middle of a workout at CrossFit or in the middle of a run, it no longer brings those negative thoughts.  It instead carries a deep sense of joy, confidence, victory, freedom from lies and a true appreciation of what this body I have been given can do.

All things can be made new. Nothing is out of the grasp of His power to redeem. Big or little.
He has made me new. Christ in me, glorified in my weakness. Only He is the one who can redeem the tutu moment of darkness.  He brings beauty out of ashes. The joy of the Lord is my strength.

The tutu has been redefined, redeemed, restored....  and so have I.

From the Desk of the Teacher

I'm being featured over at asjulesisgoing.com

Check it out.

The Desk in PROGRESS! ;)

Summer Adventures

This summer has flown by. I have done quite a bit of traveling and fun-seeking.  So here a few pictures of my adventures. I started the summer with a trip to the Outer Banks with my friend, Sarah. I don't have any pictures of that, but it's become a great tradition to kick the summer into relaxation mode.

After I returned home to Raleigh, I quickly packed my bags for almost two weeks at home in Arkansas where I loved on my nieces and my nephew and spent time with my parents and my siblings.   You can follow my sister-in-law's amazing blog here.

I returned home from Arkansas and accomplished something that I never thought possible a year ago. I "ran" my first 5k and I was not the last one finished!  I finished in 42:19





I was home for a week or two just relaxing and then I went to New York City with two of my awesome girlfriends!  It was so much fun. One of the things, I got to do on this trip was buy myself a weight loss prize at Tiffany's. It was one of those surreal moments. I teared up in the store at the accomplishment of achieving a little over 70 pounds lost in 9 months.

Here's a few of my favorite pictures of our trip.

These are my weightloss buddies we've lost a combined total of over 250 lbs

Yes, I did go in to buy my prize like that!

I returned home and then I was fortunate enough to be accepted to North Carolina Center of Advancement in Teacher Renewal Seminar at Ocracoke Island, NC. It was a week learning about the ecology of the barrier islands. We kayaked, and hiked and planted marsh grasses in the driving rain. It was so fun to connect with other teachers and be pampered. 

 We stopped at Beacon Island on our way to Portsmouth Island. It's one of 9 nesting places for brown pelicans. It was so cool to see hundreds of pelicans nesting.  Awesome reminder of God's creative design.

 Portsmouth Island is no longer inhabited, but the Parks Service has preserved it and we visited it to examine a natural barrier island that hasn't been disturbed by development.

 We stay in this restored Coast Guard Station that is absolutely beautiful.

 The Ocracoke Light from the Tower at NCCAT!

 Picture of me out on the tower balcony. See the lighthouse, super tiny in the background.

Well it's been a great summer even though it seemed to fly by and it was full of traveling. School starts tomorrow.   I will be glad to welcome back routine to my life even though it's kind of crazy.

I will leave you with a picture of my weightloss progress. This one literally made my jaw drop. I know I stare at myself everyday, so I don't see the transformation!

What a difference a year makes!  Here's to a "new" me and a new school year!

Check out this cool classroom giveaway!

There is an awesome giveaway over at Thoughts of a Third Grade Teacher! Check it out! This amazing HEAR ALL Recorder from Learning Resources.

Nearly 8 months and down 60 pounds

 Here I am celebrating my 32nd Birthday with some of my closest friends.  I am really proud of myself when I look at these pictures and know that I have been working on Taking Shape for Life for nearly 8 months and have lost nearly 60lbs. I have purchased a few new pieces of clothing that are size large, which is a little crazy when you think about the last time I wore a size large was probably middle school if even then.  I have experienced a bit of struggle with these last 10lbs, it is evident that I eat with I'm stressed and school has been kind of stressful here at the end. Summer is drawing near which hopefully will enable to me to kick my weight loss into a higher gear and get to my mini goal of 30 more pounds so that I can go shopping in Tiffany's in NYC in July and buy myself a prize!  In the meantime, I'm getting back to the basics and journaling and exercising 20 minutes or so 4 times per week.  Here's to making my way to 70lbs lost quicker!  Thanks for stopping by!

5 minute Friday

I've seen my sister in love link up to this a few times and I thought I'd give it a try


 On Fridays over here a group of people who love to throw caution to the wind and just write gather to share what five minutes buys them. Just five minutes. Unscripted. Unedited. Real.
 1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments.

Here are my best five minutes on:

Identity

 Who we think we are? What would be like if I truly dwelt on the truth of my Identity in Christ? I think that would radically change who I am and what I do on a daily basis.   Today, I feel like a mediocre teacher, a 32 year old single women who longs to be married and become a mother.  Yet God has His ultimate good for me which doesn't currently include those things. It pains me at times to trust in His Sovereignty and yet I know that this is the place where I am the safest and most secure.  I am grateful for many things I am in this current moment.
I am a friend, a daughter, a teacher, a lover of Christ, a sister, an aunt, a sojourner on the way to health, a crafter, a seamstress, a homeowner, giver of hospitality.  How I long to be content in this season on a daily basis? But I suppose that's part of this journey moment by moment trust.

STOP.