FRUSTRATION and FAILURE

I have dropped the ball once again. I have again not reached any of my weightloss goals and instead watch the scale creep in the opposite direction. I am so sick of this game. I'm beginning to think this Weight Watchers thing allows me too many cheats and that I can't stay committed cause I just look for ways around the plan to have what I want anyways. UGH! I really don't want to be this unhealthy. I just feel gross and unmotivated and unable to do it. It makes me want to do nothing. But that has resulted in crappy results. So I need to find something new to do. I need to jumpstart myself. I really want to do this year. I'm turning 30 in May and I know that it's going to more than just hoping the weight will come off to do this. It didn't get on my body in one month so it's not going to come off that way. I think I need to get serious and hard-core with myself. Not eating out, and preparing meals for the week on the weekend which is going to take self-discipline. I am reaching the end of myself which is exactly where God wants me to do. I can not do this alone...it is going to take the strength of Jesus in me and my complete dependence on him to make this happen. I have a goal of 30 lbs by my 30th birthday May 3. Can I do it? That's the question? Stick around and find out.